Ask for Referrals

Where do you look for a counselor? You should ask for referrals from other professionals. You might want to start with your primary doctor. You might not want to ask your friends or family, because you might not feel comfortable seeing a counselor that already knows someone close to you. If you’re insured, you could also call your insurance company and ask what counselors in your area accept your coverage. Other sources of referrals might be your religious institution or pastor, or an Internet search that verifies counselors and has reviews by patients. Start with the doctors you’re referred to.

Check Credentials

There are many different types of counselors, and they all have different combinations of letters after their names. There is no one kind that’s better than another. Your counselor should, at the very least, have a Master’s degree in some study of mental health. They should also have supervised clinical experience, and some kind of certificate, registration or license. A board certified counselor, for example, has to take a special test to show their competency. You can check with all professional organizations to be sure that your counselor truly is a member.

Have a First Appointment

Schedule a first appointment. You’re going to be evaluating your counselor just as they will be evaluating you. You’ll start by explaining your reasons for seeking therapy, and your counselor should then discuss certain things with you. They should discuss their approach to therapy, how they would help you with your problem, confidentiality, how long they think it might take, and how often they’d like to meet with you. You should be determining whether or not you feel comfortable with the counselor. It may take some time to get to know them, but you should trust your instincts. If you don’t trust them or think you’d be uneasy talking to them, you should try to find someone else.

Ask Questions

You should ask questions of your counselor. Ask them if they have experience treating your types of problems, and they should. Ask them how they would treat you, and their ideas should match your own notions of what might be helpful to you. Feel free to ask anything you want to know, and consider if your counselor is open to answering.

Have a Second Appointment

If you think the counselor might be for you, schedule a second appointment. At this appointment you might begin to discuss your primary problems in a more detailed fashion. Are you still comfortable talking to this counselor? If you aren’t, you are under no obligation to return. Otherwise, continue to give counseling a chance, and see your counselor as regularly as necessary.

Note: Guest Post

This article was prepared as a means to equip the reader to face a difficult time. The editing tool for this and other helpful articles is Grammarly grammar checker.

Guest Post: Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon

At the beginning of each year, many of us reflect on the past 12 months and commit to be better as we make our New Year’s Resolutions.  Losing weight, getting out of debt and learning something new are always among the top ten New Year’s Resolutions but there is one that may surprise you.

Recent polls show that more than 50 percent of American’s promise to spend more time with family and loved one’s as their New Year’s Resolution. Life is busy for all of us, especially for parents of growing families.

I would like to offer my top 3 resolutions to spend more time as a family in 2012.

1 – Eat dinner together as a family.

The traditional family dinner has drastically changed over the past few decades as families cram in more activities and are constantly on the go. However, studies show that eating together at the dinner table can have lasting positive effects on kids, particularly teens.  The more often the family eats together, the less likely teens are to do drugs, to be depressed and the more likely they are to do well academically at school.

This research is part of the basis of Strengthening Families, a new parenting and teen class offered at Salt Lake County Youth Services. In the class, parents and teens eat together as a family, modeling behavior in the class they then take home and practice. Parents and teens also learn communication skills to create a healthier home environment.

2 – Take time to TALK.

Building relationships within the family takes time. Improving the family bond includes getting to know one another better and helping each person to feel valued and important.

Youth Services uses a simple acronym to help in this process: Let’s TALK.

• Take time to talk
• Ask questions, get answers
• Listen and learn
• Keep working together

Look for one on one time to spend with your family and loved ones. It doesn’t happen overnight but even the smallest efforts make a difference over time.

3 – Ask for help.

There is no parenting handbook or relationship guide that answers every question. The good news is you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Don’t be afraid to ask your own parents or someone you look up to for help. Let them know your goals and how they can help you achieve them.

There are also times when you may want to seek a professional, licensed therapist if you or a family member is struggling with depression, anxiety, grief, stress or post traumatic stress syndrome. Youth Services offers free, short term counseling for any youth and their families in Salt Lake County. They also offer long-term mental health therapy for families who qualify for Medicaid.

May this year’s resolution to spend more time with family and loved ones last not only this year but become a lifelong quest.

For more information about Youth Services programs, go to their web site at www.youth.slco.org or call their 24-hour hotline at 385.468.4500.

Note: This article was orginally written and published in the Mayor’s Column for the Valley Journals.

Donated items for families to come shop at the Holiday Store

As the Kearns Community Learning Center Coordinator, I have been involved in a service project for the past three years we have dubbed “Santa for a Cause.” The purpose of the project is to provide families with the greatest needs at Kearns Junior High with holiday presents. 

This has been a very fulfilling and worthwhile project because it brings the students and teachers together on a common goal but more importantly because of the impact it has on the families.

Raising Money

In November, the students raised money by purchasing Holiday Chains to decorate their home room classrooms. The students have contests to see which homerooms can raise the most money.  They are given small rewards for the most money raised (i.e. doughnuts, getting out of class early).  In mid-December when all the student money is raised the teachers have a service auction.  The teachers bring services or goods to auction to one another and raise money for the project.

Selecting Families

Once all of the money is collected and counted the “Santa for a Cause” committee (with the help of the faculty, administration and counselors) determines the families with the greatest needs.  This year after all the money was raised, we found we could help 25 families.  There were a number of ways we were able to help families: through assistance from the Unified Fire Department, other families in the Kearns community who “adopted” families in need, donations from the Granite Education Foundation and United Way of Salt Lake, and the main project: The Holiday Store.

The Holiday Store

Eleven families participated in the Holiday Store.  The concept behind the holiday store is that families are able to “shop” for their families.  Certain types of items are given “point values” and people come and pick items based on the point system.  Each family receives an outfit for each child under 18 in their home. They also receive hygiene kits, household items, hats and gloves, and gift items.  The store this year was a great success.  Each family who came wrote a thank you note to those who donated items to the store.  Here are a couple of quotes from those thank you cards:

Thank You Letters

“Thank you so much for the wonderful gifts you gave to our family.  After losing my job right before Thanksgiving we had no idea how we were going to do Christmas.  Thank you for our love and kindness.” 

“This Christmas was going to be a sad one, but thanks to all the donations it will be the best Christmas.”

“Behind the scenes of life we find a hand that cares and maybe they don’t know how important their gifts are or maybe they give and never hear of what came of their generosity…but I believe that in their hearts they have felt warmth because a child’s spirit was lifted on that Christmas day because someone cared.  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.”

A special thank you to everyone who donated to Kearns Junior High this Holiday season; as a result of the donations we helped many families in the Kearns area have a Happy Holiday

Jordan seen here on the Today Show this morning set high expectations for himself but his message is simple for anyone and especially teens…set goals and complete them. He reminds us that anything is attainable and he didn’t always have success. It requires hard work and dedication. Having family and supportive people around to help you reach your goals is very important. Goal setting no matter how large or small, young or senior helps us to focus, realize our potential and reach out to others who are willing to make dreams a reality.

Like Jordan, I am grateful for all the supportive people at Youth Services who help children and teens see beyond hard times, assist families by finding them the best resources during a crisis and teach youth skills and goal setting that last far beyond the moment.  Jordan explains that it requires teamwork and without family, friends and professionals in his field he could not have achieved his goals.

I congratulate Jordan for his inspirational climbs, achieving his goal, making history as a teenager and the desire to continue to set even higher goals. Let us make all make New Year’s resolutions(and no it’s not too late) to seek out our own mountains to climb and conquer, set attainable and positive goals and reach out to youth and family in need of help.

When you feel a breakdown in communication, here are some techniques that I have seen help as I have worked with teens and parents in our parenting classes and other groups at Youth Services.

9 Ways to Talk to Your Teen ( Even When They Don’t Want to Talk to You)

1. Avoid pumping a teen for information.Wait for them to come to you.
2. Teenagers can be moody, try not to take these mood swings personally.
3. Resist the urge to control. This is the life stage when teenagers are trying to be independent and don’t respond well to control.  Instead, try to empower by giving them some choices and allowing them to make some mistakes.
4. Avoid criticism and lecturing.  Teenagers will often put up a brick wall — they stop listening and you become frustrated.
5. Negotiate.  This is the key to being a parent of a teenager.
6. Be approachable so they know they can come to you with a problem. Often, they will but only on their own terms.
7. Legitimize teen’s feelings, even if they seem trivial to you. 
8. Be patient.
9. Pay attention to how you communicate with people. Sometimes when teenagers and their parents have an especially difficult relationship it is because they are communicating in a similar way.  One of the best things a parent can do is set a good example of how an adult can communicate with others in a healthy way.

Here are a few useful sayings that I also utilize during our parenting classes and teen groups.

• It is important not to put the rules before the relationship…rules without relationship creates rebellion.
• There is considerably more strength in flexibility than in rigidity.
• Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.

 Feel free to add to the list. What other suggestions do you have that have helped you communicate with your teens?

One of our therapists is working with a family that was on the verge of homelessness. The father recently lost his job, mother is having health problems and they barely had enough  to pay half of December’s rent. Add to that the stresses of three teenagers who were hoping for gifts this month but the parents not really knowing how to provide them. One of the teens has Aspergers, another Autism. When I saw their simple wish list, I was surprised and awed: A pillow pet. Legos. Hygiene kits.

Needless to say I was excited when that same morning I had a phone call from a company whose employees were looking to donate to a family with three children. I immediately sent them over the wish list items, explaining the family situation and that if anyone would like to help with the rent money that would be greatly appreciated.

What a surprise when a few days later the same company called to tell me they had not only paid the December and January rent for this family but would also be providing them with the wish list items. When they came to drop off the donations, they not only brought the presents for the teens but also included a gift for mom, a gift for dad and a $200 gift card for groceries.

Needless to say the family was overwhelmed and extremely grateful. The donors will never meet the family that they helped but the family will never forget their generosity and the impact it has had for them this holiday season. I am grateful this holiday season to see others in paying it forward to those in need when it counts the most.

Message from the Director

The first snowfall has blanketed the valley and the temperature is quickly dropping as another year winds down to a close. The holidays are a time that I look forward to spending together with my family, but sadly that is not always the case for many of the youth and families that we serve. 

Just one year ago, we opened the Homeless Youth Walk In program in collaboration with the Volunteers of America, Utah to better serve the runaway and homeless youth in Salt Lake County. Although we have made positive strides, there is still much work to be done.

Between 1.6 and 2.8 million runaway and homeless youth nationwide are living on the streets. In Utah last year, 714 youth from Utah called the National Runaway Hotline and an estimated 500 homeless and runaway youth are living on the streets in Salt Lake alone.

Life on the streets is dangerous for anyone, especially for a teen out on their own. Homeless teens often turn to shoplifting, theft, prostitution and drug us and selling drugs just to survive. Most drop out of school, about half of the females become pregnant and more than 30 percent have attempted suicide at least once in their short lives.

Homeless and runaway teens need our help. Please join us in raising awareness about National Runaway and Homeless Youth Prevention Month and look for ways to get involved in your community. We are always looking for one-time and ongoing volunteers, donors and sponsors for each of our programs.

We are grateful for the generosity of the community during this time to not only help the youth and families in need during the holiday season but also to carry through the entire year. Please consider supporting one of our programs as you look at your charitable contributions this season; a wish list is available for each of our programs in this edition of our newsletter.

We appreciate your support in helping us make a difference for youth and families and Salt Lake County. Wishing you and yours a memorable season this year!

Carolyn Hansen,
Youth Services Director

Inside this Issue:

• 2011 Holiday Needs
• Lights On 2011
• Cars for Kids Show Fundraiser
• Fall Open House
• Veteran’s Day Celebration
• Law Enforcement Luncheon

Salt Lake County Youth Services sees about 1,000 runaway and homeless youth each year.  About 97% of these youth return home or to another safe place. We are constantly working with our partners at Volunteers of America, Utah to increase the services to runaway and homeless youth. But as the following stories illustrate, there is still more work to be done to create a continuum of care and additional resources in Utah, like what I saw in Oregon.

Gaps in Services to Homeless and Runaway Youth

Bill is a 17 year old from Las Vegas. Bill ran from his Grandmother’s home due to her not accepting his gay lifestyle. We negotiated a plan to have Bill stay at Youth Services while Grandmother submitted paperwork for him to enter the Job Corps program. Between the “red tape” at Job Corps and Grandmother “dragging her feet” our time ran out to keep Bill in our shelter, so the backup plan was to send Bill home on the bus until Job Corps was ready to accept him. Unfortunately, Bill ran away before getting on the bus. Bill turns 18 next week. I hope he makes it to Job Corps.  Bill needs a Transitional Living Program to give him more options.

Jill is a 16 year old parenting teen. She was referred from Head Start, where Jill’s baby is taken care of while she attends school at Horizonte. Jill had been living with the baby’s dad until he became violent while drunk.  Jill is from Mexico and is undocumented, while her child was born in the U.S. Youth Services offers a Young Mother Shelter program for teens in situations like Jill, offering up to 90 days of shelter care, child care and case management to help transition to more permanent housing. Unfortunately, a hurdle we have not been able to overcome is the state licensing requirement for a background check when working with undocumented youth. Because Jill does not have a social security number, we cannot run a background check and we cannot house her at the Young Mother Shelter.  Jill’s only choices are to return to Mexico, go back with her abusive boyfriend or go into DCFS custody.  What Jill needs is a Maternity Group Home that can serve undocumented teen mothers.

So my holiday wish is for more kids to get off the street and into existing programs and for new programs to get funded to help this increasing population.

 Runaway Youth Statistics – from the National Runaway Switchboard

•  Between 1.6 and 2.8 million youth run away in a year.
• Youth aged 12-17 are at higher risk for homelessness than adults.
• 47% of runaway / homeless youth indicated that conflict between them and their parent or guardian was a major problem.
• Over 50% of youth in shelters and on the streets reported that their parents either told them to leave or knew they were leaving but did not care.
• 80% of runaway and homeless girls reported having ever been sexually or physically abused. 34% of runaway youth (girls and boys) reported sexual abuse before leaving home and forty-three percent of runaway youth (girls and boys) reported physical abuse before leaving home.

National Runaway Switchboard this year completed a Runaway Youth Longitudinal Study, following 15,000 youth  for 15 years to study the effects of runaway behavior. Here are some highlights.

• 10% of girls ran away before age 18 compared to 7% of boys.
• The highest run rate was reported by bisexual youth compared to 7.6% for heterosexual youth.
• High correlations were shown between youth in foster care and runaway behavior as well as physical, sexual and verbal abuse and running away.
• Running away from home as an adolescent increases the odds of having suicidal thoughts as an adult by 51% and 3 times the rate of suicide attempts as adults than non- runners.
• Former runaways have lower education completion levels and annual income as adults.
• Odds of a former runaway being arrested as an adult is over 2 and a half times higher than an individual who never ran away from home.

What other services have you seen that are needed for homeless youth? Do you have an example of other areas that have a good continuum of services for homeless youth?

 Youth Services is a participant of National Safe Place, a program designed to get kids help fast. In Salt Lake County, we have over 90 Safe Place sites spread throughout the valley. We know that if a youth is in trouble and needs help, they won’t always be nearby. Through the Safe Place program, a teen can walk into any of the Safe Place sites and ask for help. They will call us and, if needed, we can even go pick up the teen and bring them back to our 24-hour facility.

 Safe Place introduced a nationwide TXT 4 HELP program a couple of years ago as an additional way to reach more youth. All they have to do is text 69866 with their address and Safe Place will text them with the location and phone number of the Safe Place site. Teens in Utah will also get the phone number to Youth Services.

 Safe Place will be introducing a new feature to the TXT 4 HELP program in January that is really exciting. Now, not only will the teens be able to get the address and phone number of the nearest Safe Place site, but they will also be able to connect, via text, to a trained mental health professional who can text back and forth to ensure the youth’s safety and help them find the help they need.

 The program is in testing in certain areas across the nation but will be available in Utah and in other participating states starting January 2012. We invite all teens, parents and community organizations working with youth to spread the word about this program so that we can help more teens get help fast. Visit the National Safe Place site if you are interested to find out more information about this program and participating areas.

 What do you think about the upgrade to the TXT 4 HELP program?

Despite successful driver training and preparation, young drivers very often find themselves in a fender bender in the early years of their driving career. If your child has just started driving, you should help them understand that part of being a safe driver is knowing what to do in the event of an accident. Most young drivers will be of the opinion that it won’t happen to them, but it’s important for them to know that accidents can happen, and that they need to be prepared if they are involved in one. Improper handling of an accident can hurt your teen’s driving records and his or her car insurance quotes.

Remain Calm

The most important thing for your child to understand is that they should remain calm in the event of an accident. Most children will panic if they have an accident, many because they are concerned about their parent’s response. Tell them that it is not the end of the world. Though accidents should be avoided if at all possible, once they have happened, the important matter is to deal maturely and appropriately with the situation.

Preparation

Make sure that your vehicle is properly equipped, and that your child knows where to find everything in case of an accident. This should include insurance and license information, a first aid kit, a pad of paper and pen, and a disposable camera (for documenting the scene). You may also want to include a checklist itemizing the steps your child (and you) should take after an accident has occurred–most drivers find themselves quite frazzled after an accident, and will easily forget something.

First steps

Even with a list, your child should understand that the first thing to do is to ensure the safety of those involved and those around. The first and most important step is to attend to anyone that is injured. With the adrenaline pumping after an accident, people often don’t notice or acknowledge potentially serious injuries. Call 911 if there is any chance of injury. After potential injuries are taken care of, vehicles should be out of the way of moving traffic to prevent another accident. After everything is safe, they can call you to get your help throughout the process, or can refer to the pre-prepared checklist.

Basic Damage Control

The next steps are about gathering information about the accident to help process insurance evaluations and police reports. This involves getting the insurance information from the other driver, using the camera to document damage and the scene of the accident, and using the pad and paper for getting witness information and accounts, including everything they themselves remember about the accident. They should understand not to admit guilt, even if they think it is their fault. Finally, you need to make sure they have a safe way home. Accidents will seldom happen within walking distance of home, and if you don’t have another car to pick them up, they should have enough money available to get a cab.

An accident can be a harrowing experience that no young driver wants to be involved in. Make sure you and your child are completely prepared, and everyone will be better off in the unfortunate event of an accident.

CarInsuranceQuotesComparison.com seeks to help drivers drive safety, teach their children to do the same and to find great rates on car insurance.