9 Ways to Talk to Your Teen

Adolescence can be a trying time in your relationship with your child. 

When you feel a breakdown in communication, here are some techniques that I have seen help as I have worked with teens and parents in our parenting classes and other groups at Youth Services.


9 Ways to Talk to Your Teen ( Even When They Don’t Want to Talk to You)

  1. Avoid pumping a teen for information.Wait for them to come to you.
  2. Teenagers can be moody, try not to take these mood swings personally.
  3. Resist the urge to control. This is the life stage when teenagers are trying to be independent and don’t respond well to control.  Instead, try to empower by giving them some choices and allowing them to make some mistakes.
  4. Avoid criticism and lecturing.  Teenagers will often put up a brick wall — they stop listening and you become frustrated.
  5. Negotiate.  This is the key to being a parent of a teenager.
  6. Be approachable so they know they can come to you with a problem. Often, they will but only on their own terms.
  7. Legitimize teen’s feelings, even if they seem trivial to you. 
  8. Be patient.
  9. Pay attention to how you communicate with people. Sometimes when teenagers and their parents have an especially difficult relationship it is because they are communicating in a similar way.  One of the best things a parent can do is set a good example of how an adult can communicate with others in a healthy way.

Here are a few useful sayings that I also utilize during our parenting classes and teen groups.

  • It is important not to put the rules before the relationship…rules without relationship creates rebellion.
  • There is considerably more strength in flexibility than in rigidity.
  • Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.

 Feel free to add to the list. What other suggestions do you have that have helped you communicate with your teens?

About agnesrobl

I have worked as a case manager for Youth Services for two and a half years. I facilitate an anger management group, a girl’s empowerment and support group and a life skills group that focuses on drug recovery. I also help individual clients work on personal goals.
This entry was posted in Communication Tips, Family Activities, Parenting Tips, SLCO and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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