I recently had the opportunity to read “The Five Love Languages for Teenagers The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively” by Gary Chapman. This book focuses on the different love languages that we all have. The love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Most of us enjoy all of these love languages; however, we generally have one language that we identify with more than the others.
By reading this book and giving a simple test, I was able to not only identify my love language; I was able to identify my husband and daughters’ love languages.
This book was also an asset for me as a therapist. I work with teen boys and gave them the test; they were able to identify their love language as well.
After reading this book, I identified my children and client’s love languages and now I am able understand and communicate with them better. This book also helped me to understand my love language. This is important because our love language is how we speak to others. Therefore, it is important that we learn other’s love languages as well to achieve a greater relationship.
This book is a helpful tool when raising teens. The teenage years are often a difficult time for both parents and their children, especially when it comes to effective communication. By understanding your teens love language and implementing it in your communication your relationship with your teenager will improve.
As a therapist, I really thought that I knew my daughter and as such their love language. But I wanted to test my theory and have them each take the love language test. I thought my 9 year old would say her language was affirmation and I was sure my 13 year old would say gifts. I was wrong. To my surprise both of my daughter language was quality time. By knowing this I was able to change the way that I showed how much I love them and they responded with enthusiasm and an openness to understand my love language – acts of service. Now I take my girls on drives and we go on walks together, each day I make time to spend with them and our relationship is closer than ever. My girls also go out of their way to “do acts of service” around the house for me, to let me know they care.